Glossary, Part 1

[ I just want to mention that as I started typing this, a dove flew through the open sliding glass door
and into our dining room. I got it to leave by saying, “Hey. Could you get out of here?” Ethan is a friend to all God’s creatures, great and small. ]

[ I also want to mention that when I started typing this several hours and dinner-guests ago, it was originally a lengthy rant about terrible internet service in Lebanon. ]

Since I’m not making much headway putting together accounts of our trips to Cyprus and Damascus, I thought I’d take a moment to document some turns of phrases that have crept into popular usage around our household.

DISCLAIMER: Amy might certainly protest the definition of “popular usage” as it pertains to herself.

Almazing – Amazing, quite good. Derived from Almaza brand beer. Additional analysis reveals that “almaza” means “diamond” in Arabic (as does “almaz” in Russian), and “diamond” is slang for amazing or quite good in cockney slang, e.g. a “diamond geezer.” Coined by the author during a visit from good friends Bridget and Russell.

Collar – A certain class of young Lebanese man, characterized by their wealth, arrogance, materialism, lack of character, and complete unfamiliarity with employment, either in theory or practice. Often seen in nightclubs and bars on Monot Street or driving expensive cars. A not-so-distant relative of the American “narc” species. The collar is so named because of the distinctive thick, stiff collar that often adorns his form-fitting, designer shirt. Below is a photo of two collars in one of their natural habitats, Sky Bar.

Gringo – Generally an American, but can be used to describe any foreigner. The author thinks it’s funny to refer to foreigners in an Arabic-speaking country by using a Spanish word. The Arabic word, by the way, is “ajnabi.”

La, Habibi – Literally “no, baby” or “no, darling” in Arabic. Used when playfully refuting a claim or denying a request. Originally adapted by Amy following an overheard transaction between two 7-year-olds. The expression gained popularity during a visit by Ray and Geoff, with Geoff being widely recognized as the individual who applies it to greatest effect.

Lebanese Squeeze – (In driving) used to describe a passing manuver–often conducted on a two-lane, two-way thoroughfare–during which the passing car is not moving nearly fast enough for the car behind it, so the driver of the third car decides to pass the passing car. This creates a moment in which 3 cars are travelling in the same direction at different speeds on a two-lane road. 1.5 of these cars are travelling into oncoming traffic. Coined by the author during his first visit to Lebanon in 2002.

Lebanese Toast – (In driving) used to describe a situation in which two cars travelling in opposite directions on a narrow city street (a street probably only wide enough for pedestrian traffic) pass so close that their side mirrors literally make contact with each other as they go. Also coined by the author in 2002, after perpetrating such an event.

Touro – Rhymes with “euro.” A tourist of any European persuasion, though in the author’s experience almost always German or Dutch. Distinctive in their pack-like organization and New Yorker-like tendency to assume their environment will conform to them. The phrase was coined by the author upon witnessing a German tourist at Baalbek attempting to buy a ticket for entry into the ruins with a €20 note. She was extremely annoyed at initally being rebuffed and then, when they finally agreed to take the note, was quite vocal about her disappointment with the exchange rate she was given. Typical touro.

Touro Sombrero – Describes any hijab, keffiyeh, headscarf, turban, or other headgear generally thought to be traditionally Arabic when worn by a tourist. Coined by the author upon seeing a European man wearing a white, Saudi-style keffiyeh in Lebanon. The author remarked that it was like wearing a sombrero on your vacation to Toronto. The most humorous example of the Touro Sombrero is when young female tourists wear a hijab with skimpy tank-tops and shorts. The offender need not be European, but Ameri-Sombrero and Yankee Sombrero don’t sound nearly as funny (though upon saying these out loud, the author is reconsidering).

Zwanderful – Wonderful, also amazing, quite good, or almazing. Coined during a trip by the the author, Amy, Dan, and Addie to Baalbek. There is a sign en route (in Chtaura, I believe) that enigmatically proclaims “Zwanderful Zwan”. Amy pointed out weeks later that Zwan is a Lebanese hotdog brand, but the author is refusing to recognize any connection.