[BRB]

Additions to this space have been pretty sparse for the last couple of months, though not for lack of things to write about, but rather somewhat because of them. The main thing was rushing back to the States to say goodbye to my ailing grandmother and only arriving in time to carry her casket. It was a terrible loss for me and my family and other than the fact that she went quickly, there is absolutely nothing good to be said about it. The experience also certainly underscored many of the feelings of isolation I’ve felt living over here, where friends and family aren’t even realistically a phone call away.

On a much less grave–yet somewhat related–note, we had 7 weeks’ worth of houseguests, good friends from New York and Rhode Island (a.k.a. my parents). It was really fantastic that our friends and family came to us and I do believe that a good time was had by all. It was interesting to introduce these people to our new environment and some of the things that drew us here.

Also, Amy and I will be back in the States in December for the holidays and our weddening and we’re scrambling to finalize a whole host of related details.

I was hoping that I could return to the blog-style with a couple nice, heartwarming tales about travelling in Cyprus and Damascus with my folks, but unfortunately this morning I read one of Michael J. Totten’s most recent weblog posts. A few weeks back, my friend Michael (no relation and not to be confused with the aforementioned offender) emailed me a link to one of this other Michael’s other posts in which he lays out his mission to basically move to Beirut and continue writing his weblog and articles and whatever else he does. Initially, I was merely put off by his writing style. Alternating labored, wordy sentences (I mean, who uses a word like “bloviating”…though I suppose it takes one to know one) with terse, “literary” ones (Like he’s trying. Trying to write. Like Ernest Hemmingway.) kind of outed him as a victim of some liberal arts program or other*. Upon further reading, I wanted to be seized with a feeling of “cool…this guy’s just coming over here under his own steam to understand the Middle East a little better and do his bit to educate his not-insubstantial readership.” Essentially, I wanted to be able to relate, at least to the first part. Instead, I was seized with the feeling of “oh no…this guy is kind of a blowhard who is going to misrepresent Lebanon and miseducate his readership for the sake of promoting himself as some kind of fearless, globetrotting daredevil.”

On reading his most recent posts, including the one this morning, I see that unfortunately the latter supposition was correct. While admittedly, in the posts I’ve read thus far I cannot find anything too factually far a-field (e.g. Sabra is not a Palestinian “camp” and the broad claim that “almost every Lebanese person” he’s talked to fears “a massive bombing campaign across the country” makes me wonder about who he’s talking to and how he’s phrasing his questions **), I have objections on the matters of context and tone. Every solider lounging on a street corner is imbued with forboding. Every interaction he has is like a little spy mission. He frequently refers to the South as “Hezbollahland” and makes it sound like some kind of walled-off city-state. None of this speaks to my (albeit limited…147 days at time of press) experience.

I guess the reason I take this so personally is that during the process of getting ready to come here, in addition to a lot of ridiculous remarks we had to bear (“jokes” about camels, advice not to look “too American”, etc.), we often found ourselves in the position of needing to reassure our loved and merely liked ones that we were not moving to a volatile warzone. The last time (prior to the detonation of a certain former prime minister) Lebanon was big news in the States was when it was a volatile warzone, so it is somewhat understandable that people’s general conception of the country is stuck somewhere around 1985. Now, finally, after writing stuff in here and emailing/IMing with people and having people visit and talking with friends and co-workers when I was back in the States, it seems like many of the people around us have a more realistic idea of what it is like in Lebanon specifically and maybe a little bit more of an open mind towards the Middle East in general. I feel that Msr. Totten has great opportunity here to shed a little light on the subject on a considerably larger scale, and he squanders it in an attempt to look like a badass.

And to add insult to obtusery, the banner on his new site uses the same goddamn font we chose for our wedding invitations.

And now that that I’ve gotten that off my chest…

Posts about Cyprus (driving! turtles!), Damascus (“a real live Baath Party police state”!), my parents’ visit, and some nice, captioned photos will be forthcoming.

And, on the topic of alarmists, players of the video game Total War: Medieval (yeah, I’m looking at you Aboujoudie) must be pretty psyched about the Al-Mohad-like dynasty Bush is predicting:

“The militants believe that controlling one country will rally the Muslim masses, enabling them to overthrow all moderate governments in the region, and establish a radical Islamic empire that spans from Spain to Indonesia.”

Sometimes one has to wonder, “Does he realize that he said that out loud? In front of people?”

* This is entirely my own assertion and is in no way based on any bibiographical research on my part. That said, go on, prove me wrong. I dare you.

** I mean just what I’m saying here. I mean, who doesn’t fear massive bombing campaigns? But Totten makes it sound like everybody’s just sittin’ around biting their nails waiting for the bombs to drop or park or whatever.